Sunday, July 23, 2006
random
Been a long time since I last ktv-ed. The last time was with Jolene and
Tian Fang. We went for a bout of singing after school. I still remembered how Jolene screamed her lungs out for this song ‘Bad Boy’ by Ah mei. And I recall how we got lots of attention by the people walking past our rooms *chuckle*
21st- I went to have a singing session in Kbox after work with Shuling, Jane, Kok Chuan, Zheyan, Debi and Li Jin.
It was too short a singing session! I haven't even warmed up! Only got to belt out 4 tunes.. And the service was really lousy. First they inform us in the next round of orders for drinks we had 3 drinks left when we should have four. Then they forgot Li Jin’s order for milo. Then they informed us at 930 that it is our last song when it should be 10 pm. *boils*
We sang till 10.05 with repeated reminders from the staff that we should go. Guess the manager buay Ta han and plead with us to go. LOL.
Before we left, we asked the manager to take a photo for us. LOL
***
Dominic called. Been sometime since I heard from him. Its nice to hear from him. He’s one of those friends that I can have a decent conversation with, peppered with witticisms and we always poke fun at people. Opps. Lol
Oh but I was embarrassed when he spotted me on lime magazine for the Black eyed peas concert. It was so long ago!! And that magazine was in star bucks. I wish someone would burn it or something. I dun want anyone to know I was associated with melvin. How embarrassing.
Some guys in army can be so neat. They will pull their bed sheets till its wrinkle free. They will actually dulan when you if so much as to rest just your palm on the bed sheet. How peculiar.
National day is coming up. Notice the commandos and the navy guys are the best looking. Ever seen a fat commando?
********
G contacted me again recently. It was strange. He asked me if I found a bf yet . I just said im single. Then he said I was choosy.And I said no, im not leh. And he said he’s single too. (I dunno if that is a hint to me) And I diverted the track of conversation. I said that singles have more fun….
I dunno what he meant by all that.. But I have ceased to bother about him. It seemed like he wanted me to miss him but I don’t.There was a time when I thought I did but now I don’t anymore.
He wasn’t the only one who asked me why I was single. And criticise me for being choosy.
Eric did too. He said my standards are too high.
I don’ t think so. My conditions are few and easy.
I just haven’t met the right one. And I’m patient. If I cannot find the one, I am never gonna commit. No point wasting your life away with someone whom you stay with just for the sake of experiencing couple hood.
After my last relationship, I ’ve learnt to take it easy and go out on dates and have good clean, fun. After all, its more fun hanging out with different people than to stick to one alone. Besides, I feel it is very important to get to know someone well and deep enough to commit.
Perhaps I have been too independent for so long I have not known how to compromise with others. Or perhaps I haven found someone worth enough to give up everything else for.
All I know is that one must live life to the fullest and do not hesitate to try everything for you only live life once.
Now, I don’t believe in complaining how life is unfair and how the world is against you and all that depression shit. I believe that when you try hard enough, it is good enough.Worse still some are already condemning themselves when they haven’t even tried. Most of the time, if you believe strongly, you will get what you want. Most of the time, people don’t realise how lucky or how fortunate they are and it makes me sick to hear them complain bitterly and get anal about stupid lil things that they don't have. To put it simply, they are just a bunch of lazy bums.
********
I’m not gona eat at hans anymore.
I have lost faith in them. Yesterday I was resisting my mind, telling myself to give it a try again. The moment my share arrived, Kok chuan said it was miserable. And I agreed. What’s worse, it tasted horrible. And it was expensive. I convinced myself to be content with the fact that im paying for the ambience but it didn’t work.
I’m so not gonna eat at hans anymore.
We broke record yesterday. There were no calls. Eng huat, Kok chuan and I just sat there and tok cok.
At the same time, I silently envied Eng Huat’s porcelain baby smooth skin. LOL
Btw, ive noticed that sometimes we discover things about ourselves we never knew through talking extensively with others.
*************
I love Gustave Flaubert’s works.
The prose is beautiful. And very true.
‘To be sure it is possible to live, and even die, without once asked oneself what life and death are.
But for the man who watches the leaves trembling in the wind’s breath, the rivers meandering through the meadows, life twisting and turning and swirling through things, men living, doing good and evil, the sea rolling its waves and the sky with its expanse of lights, and who asks himself why these leaves are there why the water flows, why life itself is such a terrible torrent plunging towards the boundless ocean of death in which it will lose itself, why men walk about, labour like ants, why the tempest, why the sky so pure and the earth so foul-these questions lead to a darkness from which there is no way out.
And doubt comes afterwards; it is.. Something that cannot be said but felt. Man then is like that traveller lost amid the sands searching everywhere for a route to lead him to the oasis but seeing only the dessert.
Doubt is life- action, words, nature, death. Doubt is in it all.
Doubt is death for souls; it is a leprosy that seizes on worn-out races; it is an illness that comes from knowledge and leads to madness.
Madness is the doubt of reason.
Perhaps it is reason.
Who can prove it one way or the other?
There are poets whose souls are filled with frangrance and flowers, who regard life as the daybreak of heaven, and others who are fille with nothing but darkness, bitterness and anger- there are painters who see everything in blur, others who see it all in yellow or all in black. Each of us has a prism through which we observe the world, happy is the one who can find cheerful colours and merry things in it.-
There are men who see the world nothing other than a title to be gained, or women, or the bank, a fine name, a destiny: follies.-
I know some who can see only railways, markets, or livestock. Some discern in it a sublime plan, others an obscene farce.
And the former would ask you what after all is the obscene? A difficult question to answer, like all questions.
I would just as much like to give the geometrical definition of a fine pair of boots or a beautiful woman, two things of great importance.
The people who see our globe as a big or small heap of mud are singular characters and difficult to pin down.
….
You boast of being free, of being able to do what you call good and evil, doubtless so as to be condemned all the more quickly, for what good could you ever fo? Is there a single one of your gestures which is not stimulated by pride or calculated out of slef-interest?
You, free!- From your birth onwards you are subject to all the infirmities of your father, you receive with life the seed of all your vices, of your very stupidity, of all that will make you judge the world, yourself, and all that surrounds you, in accordance with that term of comparison, that measure you carry within yourself. You are born with a narow spirit, with a ready made ideas, or ideas that will be ready made for you, about good and evil.You will be told that one must love one’s father and look after him in his old age, you will do both and yet you didn’t need anyone to teach you to do it, did you? It is an innate virtue like the need to eat. While on the other side of the mountain wher you were born your brother will be taught to kill his father when he is old, and he will kill him, for that, he thinks, is natural,and it qwas not necessary for anyone to teach him to do it. You will be brought up by people people who tell you that you must be very careful not to love carnally your sister or your mother, while you are descended like everyone from an incest, for the first man and the first woman, they and their children, were brothers and sisters; while that sun sets on other peoples who regard incest as a virtue and parricide as a duty. Are you already free in the principles by which you will govern your behaviour, is it you who presides over your upbringing, is it you who chose to be born with a character happy or sad, consumptive or robust, gentle or savage, moral or depraved?
…
You say you are free and every day you act at the very behest of a thousand things, you see a woman and you love her, you die of love for her: are you free to quieten that pulsing blood, to calm that burning head, to repress your heart, to pacify that ardour that devours you? Are you free of your thought? A thousand chains hold you back, a thousand stimuli drive you on, a thousand obstacles bring you to a halt. You see a man for the first time, one of his features shock you, and all your lifelong you feel aversion for this affection if he had not had such a big nose. - You have a poor digestion and treat with brutality the person you would otherwise have greeted with benevolence. And from all these facts flow or are linked just as unavoidable other series of facts, whence others derive in turn.
Are you the creator of your physical and moral constitution? No. You could be in full control of it only if you had fashioned and modeled it as you pleased.
You call yourself free because you have a soul- firstly it is you who made this discovery that you cannot even define; an intimate voice says yes- firstly you are lying: a voice tells you that you are weak and you feel within yourself an immerse void that you would like to fill with all the thongs you throw into it. Even if you thought you did have a soul, are you sure? Who told you? When having been torn apart by 2 opposing feelings, after a long period of hesitation and doubt, you incline towards one of the feelings, you believe you were the master of your choice. But to be master it would be necessary to have no inclination at all. Are you master enough to do good if a taste for evil has implanted itself in your heart, if you have been born with bad inclinations that have been fostered by your upbringing? And if you are virtuous, if you hold crime in horror, will you be able to do it? Are you free to do good or evil? Since it is the feeling for good that always controls you, you cannot do evil.
This battle to struggle between two inclinations, and if you do evil because it is because you are more depraved than virtuous and the stronger fever has gained the upper hand.
When two men fight, it is certain that the weaker, the less adroit, and the more supple- however long the struggle lasts there will always be one who is vanquished. The same goes for your inner nature:even when what you feel to be good wins, is this always a victory for justice? Is what you judge good the absolute, immutable, eternal good?
…’
by
Gustave Flaubert.
**
If I ever have a dog, I would like it to be a golden retriever. They are beautiful and majestic-looking dogs.
**************
Kok chuan said something that was very funny yesterday.
‘ Rachel looks like a transsexual’
He was referring to Rachel of the ‘eye for a guy’ fame. Lol
***
Tian Fang. We went for a bout of singing after school. I still remembered how Jolene screamed her lungs out for this song ‘Bad Boy’ by Ah mei. And I recall how we got lots of attention by the people walking past our rooms *chuckle*
21st- I went to have a singing session in Kbox after work with Shuling, Jane, Kok Chuan, Zheyan, Debi and Li Jin.
It was too short a singing session! I haven't even warmed up! Only got to belt out 4 tunes.. And the service was really lousy. First they inform us in the next round of orders for drinks we had 3 drinks left when we should have four. Then they forgot Li Jin’s order for milo. Then they informed us at 930 that it is our last song when it should be 10 pm. *boils*
We sang till 10.05 with repeated reminders from the staff that we should go. Guess the manager buay Ta han and plead with us to go. LOL.
Before we left, we asked the manager to take a photo for us. LOL
***
Dominic called. Been sometime since I heard from him. Its nice to hear from him. He’s one of those friends that I can have a decent conversation with, peppered with witticisms and we always poke fun at people. Opps. Lol
Oh but I was embarrassed when he spotted me on lime magazine for the Black eyed peas concert. It was so long ago!! And that magazine was in star bucks. I wish someone would burn it or something. I dun want anyone to know I was associated with melvin. How embarrassing.
Some guys in army can be so neat. They will pull their bed sheets till its wrinkle free. They will actually dulan when you if so much as to rest just your palm on the bed sheet. How peculiar.
National day is coming up. Notice the commandos and the navy guys are the best looking. Ever seen a fat commando?
********
G contacted me again recently. It was strange. He asked me if I found a bf yet . I just said im single. Then he said I was choosy.And I said no, im not leh. And he said he’s single too. (I dunno if that is a hint to me) And I diverted the track of conversation. I said that singles have more fun….
I dunno what he meant by all that.. But I have ceased to bother about him. It seemed like he wanted me to miss him but I don’t.There was a time when I thought I did but now I don’t anymore.
He wasn’t the only one who asked me why I was single. And criticise me for being choosy.
Eric did too. He said my standards are too high.
I don’ t think so. My conditions are few and easy.
I just haven’t met the right one. And I’m patient. If I cannot find the one, I am never gonna commit. No point wasting your life away with someone whom you stay with just for the sake of experiencing couple hood.
After my last relationship, I ’ve learnt to take it easy and go out on dates and have good clean, fun. After all, its more fun hanging out with different people than to stick to one alone. Besides, I feel it is very important to get to know someone well and deep enough to commit.
Perhaps I have been too independent for so long I have not known how to compromise with others. Or perhaps I haven found someone worth enough to give up everything else for.
All I know is that one must live life to the fullest and do not hesitate to try everything for you only live life once.
Now, I don’t believe in complaining how life is unfair and how the world is against you and all that depression shit. I believe that when you try hard enough, it is good enough.Worse still some are already condemning themselves when they haven’t even tried. Most of the time, if you believe strongly, you will get what you want. Most of the time, people don’t realise how lucky or how fortunate they are and it makes me sick to hear them complain bitterly and get anal about stupid lil things that they don't have. To put it simply, they are just a bunch of lazy bums.
********
I’m not gona eat at hans anymore.
I have lost faith in them. Yesterday I was resisting my mind, telling myself to give it a try again. The moment my share arrived, Kok chuan said it was miserable. And I agreed. What’s worse, it tasted horrible. And it was expensive. I convinced myself to be content with the fact that im paying for the ambience but it didn’t work.
I’m so not gonna eat at hans anymore.
We broke record yesterday. There were no calls. Eng huat, Kok chuan and I just sat there and tok cok.
At the same time, I silently envied Eng Huat’s porcelain baby smooth skin. LOL
Btw, ive noticed that sometimes we discover things about ourselves we never knew through talking extensively with others.
*************
I love Gustave Flaubert’s works.
The prose is beautiful. And very true.
‘To be sure it is possible to live, and even die, without once asked oneself what life and death are.
But for the man who watches the leaves trembling in the wind’s breath, the rivers meandering through the meadows, life twisting and turning and swirling through things, men living, doing good and evil, the sea rolling its waves and the sky with its expanse of lights, and who asks himself why these leaves are there why the water flows, why life itself is such a terrible torrent plunging towards the boundless ocean of death in which it will lose itself, why men walk about, labour like ants, why the tempest, why the sky so pure and the earth so foul-these questions lead to a darkness from which there is no way out.
And doubt comes afterwards; it is.. Something that cannot be said but felt. Man then is like that traveller lost amid the sands searching everywhere for a route to lead him to the oasis but seeing only the dessert.
Doubt is life- action, words, nature, death. Doubt is in it all.
Doubt is death for souls; it is a leprosy that seizes on worn-out races; it is an illness that comes from knowledge and leads to madness.
Madness is the doubt of reason.
Perhaps it is reason.
Who can prove it one way or the other?
There are poets whose souls are filled with frangrance and flowers, who regard life as the daybreak of heaven, and others who are fille with nothing but darkness, bitterness and anger- there are painters who see everything in blur, others who see it all in yellow or all in black. Each of us has a prism through which we observe the world, happy is the one who can find cheerful colours and merry things in it.-
There are men who see the world nothing other than a title to be gained, or women, or the bank, a fine name, a destiny: follies.-
I know some who can see only railways, markets, or livestock. Some discern in it a sublime plan, others an obscene farce.
And the former would ask you what after all is the obscene? A difficult question to answer, like all questions.
I would just as much like to give the geometrical definition of a fine pair of boots or a beautiful woman, two things of great importance.
The people who see our globe as a big or small heap of mud are singular characters and difficult to pin down.
….
You boast of being free, of being able to do what you call good and evil, doubtless so as to be condemned all the more quickly, for what good could you ever fo? Is there a single one of your gestures which is not stimulated by pride or calculated out of slef-interest?
You, free!- From your birth onwards you are subject to all the infirmities of your father, you receive with life the seed of all your vices, of your very stupidity, of all that will make you judge the world, yourself, and all that surrounds you, in accordance with that term of comparison, that measure you carry within yourself. You are born with a narow spirit, with a ready made ideas, or ideas that will be ready made for you, about good and evil.You will be told that one must love one’s father and look after him in his old age, you will do both and yet you didn’t need anyone to teach you to do it, did you? It is an innate virtue like the need to eat. While on the other side of the mountain wher you were born your brother will be taught to kill his father when he is old, and he will kill him, for that, he thinks, is natural,and it qwas not necessary for anyone to teach him to do it. You will be brought up by people people who tell you that you must be very careful not to love carnally your sister or your mother, while you are descended like everyone from an incest, for the first man and the first woman, they and their children, were brothers and sisters; while that sun sets on other peoples who regard incest as a virtue and parricide as a duty. Are you already free in the principles by which you will govern your behaviour, is it you who presides over your upbringing, is it you who chose to be born with a character happy or sad, consumptive or robust, gentle or savage, moral or depraved?
…
You say you are free and every day you act at the very behest of a thousand things, you see a woman and you love her, you die of love for her: are you free to quieten that pulsing blood, to calm that burning head, to repress your heart, to pacify that ardour that devours you? Are you free of your thought? A thousand chains hold you back, a thousand stimuli drive you on, a thousand obstacles bring you to a halt. You see a man for the first time, one of his features shock you, and all your lifelong you feel aversion for this affection if he had not had such a big nose. - You have a poor digestion and treat with brutality the person you would otherwise have greeted with benevolence. And from all these facts flow or are linked just as unavoidable other series of facts, whence others derive in turn.
Are you the creator of your physical and moral constitution? No. You could be in full control of it only if you had fashioned and modeled it as you pleased.
You call yourself free because you have a soul- firstly it is you who made this discovery that you cannot even define; an intimate voice says yes- firstly you are lying: a voice tells you that you are weak and you feel within yourself an immerse void that you would like to fill with all the thongs you throw into it. Even if you thought you did have a soul, are you sure? Who told you? When having been torn apart by 2 opposing feelings, after a long period of hesitation and doubt, you incline towards one of the feelings, you believe you were the master of your choice. But to be master it would be necessary to have no inclination at all. Are you master enough to do good if a taste for evil has implanted itself in your heart, if you have been born with bad inclinations that have been fostered by your upbringing? And if you are virtuous, if you hold crime in horror, will you be able to do it? Are you free to do good or evil? Since it is the feeling for good that always controls you, you cannot do evil.
This battle to struggle between two inclinations, and if you do evil because it is because you are more depraved than virtuous and the stronger fever has gained the upper hand.
When two men fight, it is certain that the weaker, the less adroit, and the more supple- however long the struggle lasts there will always be one who is vanquished. The same goes for your inner nature:even when what you feel to be good wins, is this always a victory for justice? Is what you judge good the absolute, immutable, eternal good?
…’
by
Gustave Flaubert.
**
If I ever have a dog, I would like it to be a golden retriever. They are beautiful and majestic-looking dogs.
**************
Kok chuan said something that was very funny yesterday.
‘ Rachel looks like a transsexual’
He was referring to Rachel of the ‘eye for a guy’ fame. Lol
***
# posted by orangetinted @ 3:39 AM 
